Letters For Rose
by underneathasycamore
Summary: When Hermione is told that she is going to die, she arranges for her daughter to receive a letter every year that she is at Hogwarts. In these letters, Hermione tells her daughter the truth about herself, the whole truth. Slight AU. Set after 7th book (prior to epilogue) into next gen.
1. Introduction

**Introduction **

As a Muggle, when you first find out that you are a witch or wizard everything feels new again. You feel invincible, because all of the things that you had been told were impossible, were now fact probable. They were things that you could do with some will power, a few choice words and a swish of a carved piece of wood. There was no longer a problem that couldn't be solved. And this feeling goes on for years, perhaps your whole life. You spend your time manipulating gravity, and modern medicine. You regrow bones in a matter of hours, study mythical creatures, and transform normal items into spectacular things. You play God.

But eventually you remember, there are some things that you can't fix. Some things that not even magic can solve. You remember that you are only half a part of this new world, and that the other half is back where you were born. A place where things like death, and sickness are not so easily cured. And that is where Hermione Granger found herself, straddling the line between her two worlds. Sickness in one hand from the world that made her, and magic with no cure for her from the world that took her in. Sometimes you burn the candle at both ends, and sometimes you just get burned.

However, this is not a story about how Hermione Granger dies. This is a story about Hermione Granger's daughter finding out how her mother lived.

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Thank you very much to my Beta for going on this long journey with me to edit this thing.

And thank you to every reader and reviewer for taking their time. The first chapter will be along in a moment!


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One**

Dear Rose,

There are so many things that I want to tell you. Memories that I wish you could see through my eyes; thoughts that I wish you were able to understand. But right now you can't, and that's not fair of me to put it on you. One day you will understand everything, I hope, maybe better than I understood them then, or even now. You may not make the same mistakes that I did, but you will make your own; and making mistakes is okay. Don't think too long on them because they brought you to where you are now and made you into the person that you are today. And know that you are, and always will be a good person.

It feels like only the other day that I met you for the first time. You were this precious pink little thing. You were mine, I had made you. I was suddenly responsible for this whole other life, something that I had always imagined would happen, but suddenly I felt ill prepared. I had read so many books about how to care for you and how to bring you up right. But that first time that you cried and grabbed a hold of my hair with your tiny hand, I forgot it all. I didn't know what to do. I was so afraid that I would do something wrong, that I would hurt you or do wrong by you. Many years later, and I can tell you know that this feeling never leaves.

Some of these stories won't make sense to you right now, or maybe they won't mean anything to you or hold any amount of significance. But I only want to make this life easier for you; give you some piece of tangible evidence of how much I love you and wish that I could be there to hold your hand through all of this. My beautiful, smart, girl.

Please know that I never had all of the answers: I made bad choices, held onto things (and people) for far too long. But I tried to be a good person. I tried to figure out all the answers for you. I wanted to be able to answer all the questions that you would have as you grew up. I will give you everything that I can, and every day I will wish that I could have given you more. I wish that I could be there.

Don't let your dad trick you into thinking that Gryffindor is the only good house at Hogwarts. Just because we were in that house doesn't mean that you have to be, or even will be. Every house at Hogwarts holds its own merits, and every house has had amazing witches and wizards. The Sorting Hat was created by the four founding wizards and witches of Hogwarts. Each of them put a little bit of themselves into the hat so that it could compare each student to the qualities of that house. The Sorting Hat does a pretty good job at picking a suitable house for you, but don't forget to tell it what you would like as well. Sometimes it does take what you want into consideration; just ask Uncle Harry.

The Gyffindor house was founded by Godric Gryffindor. It is said that this house values bravery, daring, nerve, and chivalry. However, considering the three of us were put into Gyffindor, I would say that stubbornness is a pretty strong trait as well. I have met some of my closest friends from being in this house. It was my home away from home. And the winner of the house cup quite a few times thanks to the three of us. Good wizards came from this house Rose, but remember, bad ones came from here too.

Helga Hufflepuff founded the house of Hufflepuff. I used to think that it was the house were the soft students went; the ones that were kind and gentle, and didn't like the competition of sport or smarts. But over the years I learned that I was wrong in my thinking. Cedric Diggory was in the Hufflepuff house. He was one of the bravest people that I had the privilege of knowing. I think that if you get put in Hufflepuff you will find some really good friends. Remember that kindness is not weakness, and that those who think so are truly the weak ones.

Ravenclaw was founded by Rowena Ravenclaw, the house of intelligence and wit. I was almost sorted into this house, and many people commented on how surprised they were that I wasn't. The only reason I was put into Gryffindor over Ravenclaw was because I asked the hat to put me there. I later told people that it was because I felt the Gyffindor house was a better house, but to be honest, it was because Harry and Ron had mentioned that Gryffindor was the house that they wanted to be sorted into. We weren't friends at the time, but they were two of the few people that had really taken the time to talk to me on the train. I was in a brand new place, and didn't know a soul, at that point I was willing to tag along to anyone that would have me.

Salazar Slytherin founded the Slytherin house, and though Dad may try and tell you otherwise, it is absolutely a respectable house to be sorted into. Though I will admit that we were often rivals with many of the Slytherin students while in school, the students in that house were quite bright. It used to be said that there wasn't a witch or wizard who went bad that didn't come from Slytherin. But that is in fact wrong. Yes, many bad wizards came from that house, but many good ones came from it too, like Severus Snape and Draco Malfoy. But I'll get more into that later. Remember that a house does not define who you are, or what kind of person you will grow up to be. You decide that. I will be so proud of whichever house has the privilege of having you become part of its family.

Now, Rose, I can't leave you with nothing when I go. I know that you will have many questions, and I hope that these letters will give you some of the answers. I have arranged for you to get a letter at the beginning of term every year that you are at Hogwarts. Your Father doesn't know about these letters, he thinks that the only things that I left for you are the presents that I had planned for your birthdays while you attended school. My only request is that you don't tell him until after you graduate. I don't want you to miss out on the important parts of the story in the middle, just because he told you the ending. This will just be between the two of us for now.

I'm sure you must be just bursting with excitement and nerves! I just know that you will have a wonderful time at Hogwarts. Don't forget that you can always talk to your cousins, or write back home. Make sure you say hello to Hagrid and Headmaster McGonagall. Try not to get into too much trouble, and make sure to write to your dad once in a while. I wish that I could be there, love. But I know you will be just fine. Happy birthday Rose. I wish more than anything that I could be there with you for your special day. Know that you are always in my heart. Love always, Mom

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If you have read this far thank you very much! Please take a second to review and let me know how you a liking it so far. I will be uploading two chapters at a time, but one of the chapters will be quite short, it just works better for the flow of the reader.

That's all for now!


	3. Chapter Two

NOTE: The Photo that Hermione is describing in this letter is the cover art of this story.

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**Chapter Two**

Dear Rose,

This is my absolute favourite picture of you and me. You always had this habit of blowing on dandelions because you said it reminded you of the snow during Christmas. Winter always was your favourite season. You wanted to spend hours outside catching snowflakes on your tongue and helping me make snowmen so that your Dad and Uncle Harry could charm them to dance around the garden.

Even when I was sick and didn't have the strength to get out of bed, you could always make me smile. I remember one particularly bad day when I was coming down with a fever, you spent the entire afternoon cutting up old Daily Prophets into snowflakes. When I woke up they were charmed to hang and float around the ceiling, just like a snowfall. I truly loved that Rose, and it will always be something that I remember and hold dear to me.

I hope you have a wonderful birthday, Rose. I wish that I could be there with you to blow out the candles on your cake, to pass you your presents and remind you to read the card first. Know that I am always in your heart, as you are always in mine.

Love always,

Mom

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Thank you once again for reading! Please take a second to review, it would me a lot to me!

Another thank-you goes out to my Beta!


	4. Chapter Three

**Firstly, thank you to everyone that has taken the time to read and/or review thus far! I hope you are enjoying my little story.**

**Secondly, some have been wondering about how Hermione has died. That piece of the puzzle won't be relieved until later in the story. But I would be curious to hear your hypothesis'! Send them my way!**

**For now, enjoy the next chapters!**

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**Chapter Three**

Dear Rose,

Here you are Rose, ready to start your education at Hogwarts. I wish more than anything that I could have been there to see you off on the train on your first day of school. I wish that I could have been there to help you pick up your books, to see if you were more favourable to owls or cats. I wish I could have seen that grin in your eyes when you finally got your very own wand. I know that you must be full of jitters, excitement, and nerves. I know that because I was full of all of those feelings. Just know that you will be okay, and soon enough you will feel like you never want to leave.

You are on your way to the most magical place in the whole world. Though I imagine that my awe and wonder upon my first year at Hogwarts was much larger than yours. But there is still something so special about that place, and I hope you find it. I hope that it is a safe and happy place away from home like it was for me. I hope magic still thrills you and causes the feeling of butterflies to rise up in your stomach like it did for me. When I was your age, magic was something that I read in storybooks. I thought that it was just another word for when someone was able to trick you. But Hogwarts was a wonderful place, somewhere that I finally felt at peace.

Before I found out that I was a witch, I didn't understand why strange things would happen to me. People who don't know that magic exists, or who have never seen it before, are often scared by it. I was treated like an outcast by my peers, and I felt like there was something truly wrong with me. Coming to Hogwarts and being told that I was special instead of different gave me my confidence back. I did everything that I could to learn as much as I possibly could, and to be the best at what I learned. I wanted to prove to myself and to everyone else that I belonged there.

Don't be discouraged if you don't make friends at first. It was almost three months into school and almost being trampled by a troll before Uncle Harry, your dad, and I became friends. Even after that, we still had our fights like all friends do. Those fights were hard to go through. I was a determined child who loved a challenge. Naturally, that meant that I excelled in school; something that my peers found infuriating. I had never had any true friends before I came to Hogwarts, only other students who wanted to buddy up with me on projects in order to get a good mark. So when I was accepted as a friend of your Dad's and Harry's, I hung on and did everything that I possibly could to help them and keep them safe.

The only thing that I can tell you is to remember to be yourself. If you remain yourself, you will attract other people who are similar to you, or who value the qualities that you portray. These are the type of people that you want in your life. Be kind to others, even if they are not kind to you. Never allow someone else's poor attitude force you into stooping down to their level. You are better than that; stronger than that. As you grow up, remember that your friends should be by your side during the rough times, just as you should be there for them. Your friends will also challenge you, but so will your enemies.

When I met your Dad he was trying to turn his pet rat yellow for Uncle Harry. The spell had been given to him by one of his brothers and needless to say the rat stayed brown. Of course I was still trying to prove to everyone that I met that I belonged with them, and was quick to show them one of the spells that I had been working on. Looking back at the memory now, I'm sure that I came off a bit snobbish, but we still became best friends later on, and (as you know) have remained friends ever since. I met someone else on that train that day as well. His name was Draco Malfoy. He had seen me perform a spell to fix your uncle's glasses through the compartment window and was rather impressed. He came out and introduced himself after I left your Dad's compartment. He was quite curious about what other spells I could perform. We ended up discussing what houses we wanted to belong to and what ones we didn't. He told me that he wanted Slytherin hands down, because that was the house that both of his parent's belonged to. At the time I hadn't heard much about the houses other than what I had read in _Hogwarts: A History_. We both agreed that Ravenclaw would be a good second choice.

Once we went our separate ways and climbed into the boats I began to get nervous about the upcoming school year. I had hoped that I would be in the same house as those that I met on the train, and would be able to make friends with them. When I saw that Draco was sorted into Slytherin I was happy that he got the house that he wanted. Suddenly, it was my turn to be sorted. I was torn. I knew that Draco had been sorted into Slytherin, but I also knew that your dad and likely Harry would never want to be sorted into that house. At this point I just wanted to be with someone that I knew. Once the old hat was placed on my head I could feel it move around in my mind. Remember, the hat can see what you are worried about, what you want, and also what you are capable of. The hat told me that I would excel in any of the houses, which really didn't make my decision any easier.

Finally, I was sorted in the Gryffindor house, alongside with your Dad and Uncle Harry. I was happy that we were put together, but I still hoped that I could make friends with those who weren't put into the Gryffindor house. Unfortunately, this proved to be difficult. I wasn't aware of the apparent Gryffindor/Slytherin rivalry that was quite strong throughout the school. As the school year went on I became friends with your Dad and Harry, and any chance that I had at becoming friends with Draco grew smaller and smaller. Being so young and wanting to fit in, we allowed the house rivalry to draw us apart. But it was the brewing rivalry between Draco and your dad and Uncle that kept us that way.

It was few years later that Harry told me how Draco had tried to befriend him in Madame Malkins robe shop in our first year. But when Harry saw how alike he was to his spoiled cousin Dudley, he thought otherwise. I suspect that Draco expected Harry to accept his friendship; at that time he was used to getting the things that he wanted. Unfortunately for him, Harry was not impressed with Draco's attitude or disregard for others. After being dismissed, Draco seemed to go out of his way to annoy and get a rise out of Harry, and in turn, Ron. The boys were dedicated to the idea that Draco was a rotten boy who was doing everything to make their lives miserable. I on the other hand believe that he was a little hurt at Harry's dismissal, and was acting out.

Your dad, Uncle Harry and I were not best friends right from the beginning. I spent the first two months of school alone being made fun of by my peers. I always took my education very seriously, and strived to do the very best that I couldn't in every class. This wasn't usually looked upon as a quality that people wanted to associate with. You dad was one of those people that made fun of me. I remember trying to help him in charms one day only to find him making fun of me after class. I spent the rest of the night crying in the girl's lavatory. That was the same night that Troll was let into the castle and had cornered me in the bathroom. It was your dad and Uncle Harry that came and saved me, and we've been best friends ever since.

I would imagine that over the years you have heard stories about me from your father, but I don't want you to have the wrong idea of me. People said that I'm the 'brightest witch of my age', that I was part of the 'golden trio'. But none of those titles say anything about me, they don't tell you who I am. They don't tell you that I cried the first time that I held you and Hugo in my arms. That I kept every picture that you and your brother ever drew for me in an album. Being known as the brains of the golden trio doesn't leave any room for people to think that I was often scared. Terrified that we would get hurt, that I wouldn't be able to find all the answers that we needed, that we wouldn't ever see the other side of the war.

I can't tell you everything now because you are so young and I don't want to take anything away from your childhood. There were many times when I felt that I had to grow up too fast, too soon. And as much as I don't regret the things that I did, I feel as though I missed out one some of the experiences of just being a child. I don't ever want to take that away from you.

I hope that you want to learn about every corner of the world; that you are fascinated by stars and want to learn about the constellations. I hope you love the sea as much as your father does. Remember that it is okay to question things. Grab every bit of knowledge between your hands and hold on to them as tightly as you can. Remember that you are important, and that you are part of a big wide world of other people who are important too. Above all else, do the things that make you happy.

Even if you don't hear it from others for a period of time, know this: you are beautiful, you are smart, and you are important. Always, always, always.

Love,

_Mom_

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**I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please let me know what you thought by clicking the review button at the bottom of the page!**

**Cheers!**


	5. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

Dear Rose,

This was my very first copy of Hogwarts: A History. I have read this book countless times, and every time I read it I learn something new. The things I learned from this book helped me so much during my school years. It was the very first book that I bought after I found of that I was a witch. I was so worried that I would be behind everyone else who had grown up around magic that I was determined to get my hands on any piece of information about the magical world that I could. I still read this book, even now after all these years.

I hope you get as much joy and knowledge from this book as I did.

Love always,

Mom.


	6. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Dear Rose,

I was twelve when I was called a Mudblood. And while I do not condone the use of such language, I feel that it is important that you understand why. Mudblood is a derogatory term for a witch or wizard who is muggle-born. Someone like me. It is used by those who believe that because someone comes from a non-magical family are of a lower grade person than someone who does comes from magical parents. I was called a Mudblood by a boy my age who was brought up to believe that because of where I came from I did not deserve to learn magic, that I had 'dirty blood'. That is what his family believed and taught him. I remember being called that, and knowing by others reactions that it was bad, but not knowing what it meant. I wish now that I didn't know what it meant, that no one did.

That was the day that your dad tried to defend me by cursing the boy who called me that wretched name. Unfortunately, his wand was broken and your dad was the one that ended up puking slugs for the day. Still, it was sweet. But as I hope you have been told, I was certainly capable of holding my own and taking care of myself. That following year I treated that boy who called me that awful name with a few choice words, and a well-positioned wand. I still laugh when I think about the look on his face as he ran away.

I think it's important for you to know that this boy didn't always think of me as that hideous name. It was partially because I had wounded his pride in front of his team mates, and partly because he was at the age where we reflect our parents. And he didn't have a good example to go from. In fact, when we first met, before he realised that I was a muggle-born witch, he was quite nice to me. He had noticed that I was reading a potions textbook on the train and stuck up a conversation about how the teacher of that class was a close family friend. He was bragging yes, but he was pleasant. Just so you know, that boy did eventually apologize to me, but that's another story for another time.

You may not remember this, but while I sick, a friend of mine would visit and bring his son with him. The two of you clicked instantaneously and were almost inseparable. You were both incredibly bright for your ages and seemed to just feed off of the others intelligence and excitement. I could see so much of myself in you when you were around him. You always wanted to do better than him; jump higher, run faster, and imagine bigger. I hope that the two of you are still friends, regardless of what other people think. And that includes your dad; he never could let go of a grudge.

Some days, I wonder if you will remember any of the past few years. If you will remember me at all after a while, or if I will become a distant memory, like how you remember your first pet or a lost friend. I hope you don't remember the unpleasant things, like when I was really sick or when I started to lose my hair. I hope you don't remember how your dad and I used to fight. I hated it when he and I would fight, because I could see how it upset you so. I wonder if Hugo will remember me at all. One day, when he's old enough I hope you'll share these stories with him, and I hope two can help each other to remember that I loved you both very, very much.

Love always,

_Mom_

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**Thank you, as always, for taking the time to read. Please take a moment to send me your thoughts on the story thus far. If you have any criticism, please give it in a constructive manner. The internet has enough anonymous hostility as it is. Thank you! **


	7. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

Dear Rose,

When your dad and I started thinking about having children we had different opinions. He wanted lots of children, I only wanted a few. He was ready to show you of all the things that we had done growing up. I felt that doing so would skew your vision of the real word. I wanted you to grow up humbled, and not thinking that this world owes you something just because of who your parents are, because it doesn't. I always told your Dad not to tell you and Hugo of _all_ the mischief that we had gotten into as children. I knew that all you kids would get into your own trouble without our stories to give you any ideas. However, I think you are old enough now to hear this one.

In my third year at Hogwarts I was given a very rare opportunity. With the support of professor McGonagall, I completed a double course load with the help of Time-Turner. When I was your age, I never felt as though I had enough time. There was so much that I wanted to do and learn, but I had this constant anxiety that I was running out of enough time to do it all. I suppose in the end, my feeling was right, because I didn't have enough time, not nearly as much as I wanted.

Having that time turner taught me many things. It taught me that we never have enough time. I could have used that device for my entire life and still not have been satisfied. There still would be things that I wanted to do, or see, or learn. There would still be people that I wanted to spend my time with. I wish more than anything that I had more time to be able to spend with you and Hugo. I wish that I could have had more time to spend with the new people in my life, the ones that I didn't get a chance to really be with.

There is a theory that, although they can allow you to travel back in time, all time-turners follow certain time principles. The main one being, that no matter what part of your past you change, your future will still find a way of unfolding itself in the same way. And I think that is important for you to understand. Clearly, there is a reason for everything, and that reason is to bring us to the right places as the right times throughout our lives. I know this because in my third year I went back into the past to try and change it.

Uncle Harry and I traveled back in time in order to save his Godfather, Sirius Black, from receiving the Dementor's kiss. Sirius had been wrongfully accused and sentenced for the death of Harry's parents and friend Peter Pettigrew. After breaking out of Azkaban, we discovered the Peter was indeed alive, and that he was the one who had given up the information of Harry's parent's whereabouts. We were able to save him, and an unfairly sentenced Hippogriff that night. They rode off together in the night and Sirius when into hiding. And I wish that this was where the story ended. Unfortunately, Harry's Godfather was killed two years later. As you can see, though the time line changed, the outcome remained the same.

In all of my experience with time, both trying to create more present and trying to change the future, I learned the most about the past. The past is a tricky thing, it's the only thing we know and the only thing that we cannot change. So many people spend so much time thinking about the past and how perhaps their present or future would be different if they could change it. When we dwell on the past, we replay the memories in our minds over and over again. The more that these events play in our mind the more distorted these memories become. We end up remembering the past better or worse than it was, or read into something that didn't mean nearly as much as we thought. By not letting go of the past, we set ourselves up for disappointment in the future. We build these things up in our mind, and when we experience them again we're left disappointed because it didn't live up to our expectation.

It took me a long time to stop living in my past and to start moving toward the future that I wanted. I could blame this on a number of things. Being close with your Uncle Harry, and often in dangerous situations, there were times when that I wasn't sure that I would have a future; day's that I wasn't sure I would see the end of. At that time, growing old seemed like a far off dream that I had no business in having. We had lost so many close friends and allies during the war that we spent a long time after remembering them. That meant staying in the mind frame and memories of my seventeen year old self. Before I knew it I was in my twenties and didn't remember getting there. All that time, lost.

Rose, you may not be able to control all of the events that happen to you, but you can choose how you let them affect you. You can be hurt by them, controlled by them, or you can choose to grow from them, and not let them define who you are. Remember that just because something bad happens to you does not mean that you are a bad person, or that you a being punished for doing something wrong. Things, good and bad, happen to people every day. You're meant to learn and grow from what you go through and experience. Everything that happens, happens for a reason. You may not understand the reason at the time, but I promise you, there is one.

Even if I had that chance, I wouldn't change anything that has happened to me. Because every event, good or bad, has shaped me into the woman that I am today. And everything that I have seen and been a part of has helped to shape the people around me as well. I wouldn't want any of people that I have met over the years to be any different than who they are. Not even your dad, not even after being on the other side of our relationship. If he was more of the person that I wanted he wouldn't be one of my very best friends, or as stubborn or as loyal, he wouldn't be Ron. I hope that you know that I love your Dad very much. I never stopped loving him. As time went on, as we began to grow apart, as I began to realize what it was that I wanted, I just loved him in a different way. No matter what, he will always be one of my best friends.

One day, I hope that all of this will make sense to you. And I hope that you will still love me at the end of all of it.

Love always,

_Mom_

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**Reviews make me smile, please leave one! **


	8. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

Dear Rose,

One thing I never understood about being a wizard is now none of them wore watches. The odd one would have a pocket watch, but even then it was more of an accessory. It's easy enough to cast a spell and see what time it is but honestly, there is absolutely no reason to have to use magic for _everything_.

This is the only watch that I have found that works both in the muggle world and the magical one. I hope it works as a little reminder that we all have a finite amount of time on this Earth, and that you should do everything possible to make every minute of it worthwhile. Don't waste it, Rose.

Love,

_Mom_

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**Thank you for reading this far, please let me know that you think of it. Cheers**


	9. Chapter Eight

Thank you so very much to my lovely lovely reviewers:** PeevsyPadfoot, Katelynmauntel, pianomouse, NorthAmericanJaguar** as well as all of my previous reviewers!

All your reviews mean so very much to me and are really appreciated!

Hope you enjoy the next two chapters!

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**Chapter Eight**

Dear Rose,

I can't believe that you are fourteen years old already! Over half way done with your education, and before you know it you will be off creating a life of your own. I hope you know that I am so very proud of you. I only wish that I could be there to see you as you grow into the lovely, strong, and intelligent woman that I imagine you becoming. I know that some days it will be hard, that some days you won't feel pretty or smart. But please know that you are, you will always be all of these wonderful qualities. Don't let _anyone_ else make you think any differently.

I know what it feels like to feel ugly. To feel like all the other girls are prettier than you, to be thought of as a last resort for a ball. I know how it feels to be teased for things that you didn't choose to have, like the texture of your hair or the shape of your teeth. I understand that feeling. But I also understand now, that all that teasing is a load of bullocks. Everyone is beautiful and unique in his or her own way.

When I was your age, your Dad and I attended something called a Yule Ball at Hogwarts, but not together. It was the first dance that Hogwarts had really had since I had been there, and although no one would think this, I was quite excited. No matter if you are a _bookworm_, a _tomboy¸ _or any other type of girl that society names you, every girl gets a little excited at the opportunity to dress up and feel pretty. I was no different. I had always been teased, both while in muggle school and at Hogwarts. Everything from the state of my hair, to my desire to learn, to my blood status. There always seemed to be something to that others were able to find and point out in order to try and make me feel small.

Over the years I grew thicker and thicker skin; I ignored the finger pointing, the whispers, and the sneers. I kept telling myself that it didn't matter what others thought of me, it only mattered what I thought of myself. I had developed a number of close friendships during my time at Hogwarts, but it still hurt to a degree to see how easy things like relationships and beauty came to them. I just never felt that I measured up in that area of my life. My mum always used to tell me that boys were slow. In the beginning they would only look at the girls that looked pretty on the outside, but that as I got older they would be able to see how beautiful I was on the inside and out. So when a well-known Quidditch player who was visiting Hogwarts at the time, asked to accompany me to the Yule Ball, I was ecstatic. I felt like I had finally reached a time when others would notice me as more than a brain.

I had spent hours trying to tame my bushy hair, and gone through an entire bottle of _sleek-easy_ hair product. I had bought a set of stunning periwinkle blue dress robes that made me feel that a princess when I twirled around. Viktor was a perfect gentleman, and I had a wonderful time. I felt attractive and happy and free.

I have felt beautiful many times in my life, but there have also been times where I have felt truly ugly. It happened a few weeks after the Final Battle. All of our dead had been buried, most of those who were injured had been released from the care of St. Mungo's. Everyone was celebrating that is was finally over. We could relax and breathe again. By that time my nightmares were rampant. I dreamt of all of the horrible things that happened, or could have happened. The worst dream was the one that kept repeating itself. The one where I was alone, laying on the hard floor of Malfoy Manor because I didn't have the strength to get up. At this point in the dream I had been tortured for information with the cruciatus curse more times than I could remember. It still felt so real, even in the safety of my mind.

By this point I usually woke myself up from screaming, but on this night I did not, and the dream carried on. I could suddenly feel Bellatrix carving that filthy word into my arm. Each slice of her cursed knife sending a white hot pain up my arm and into my chest. I felt like I was burning from the inside out. When I finally awoke and saw that hideous scar, I broke. I could no longer pretend that the event or the markings that it left behind didn't affect me. I scrubbed and scratched for hours but nothing would take that repulsive scar off of my arm. I felt so defeated, because I felt like was forever more branded by it. That I was as ugly as that word.

I later sought counseling, many of us who fought in the war did. It was so hard to go back to everyday life. A life where you didn't have to keep your children close or watch your back. This took some time to adjust to, but I got better, stronger. Now, when I'm having a bad day, I focus on remembering the good things that my scar stands for. That scar means that I fought for what I believed in, that I did everything possible to keep the people that I loved safe, that I survived.

I know that one day you will grow up and understand some of the same things that I do today, the things that remain the same regardless of when you are born. Things like how many women will date and marry a man because she thinks that she can change him form the better. Out of these woman, some will stay in the relationship because they think that they are changing them. The other portion will leave when they realize that they can't. I want you to know that I have been both of these woman. In the entire time that we have known each other, I have been trying to make your dad into what I thought was a better person. Before we started dating, I thought that I was doing these things out of friendship. That I was trying to get him to study harder and be a better student, and to care more about things other than food and Quidditch because that was what friends did; they made you a better-rounded person.

There will be people in your life who do not care about you. Not at all, not as much as you want them to, not as much as you care for them, not as much as they should, not as much as someone else. This will hurt, more than you even could have thought it would and I am so sorry that you have to go through that hurt. If there was any way that I could point these people out to you, give you clues as to what to watch out for and who to be weary of, I would. But know that the hurt will pass; that someone better will come along in your life and make you forget about everyone else from before. I know that reading this won't make it hurt any less, but one day it will.

After the war, when we had started to date and soon after got engaged, I still did this. I tried to get your father involved in the community, in rebuilding the parts of our world that had been destroyed. When he became an Auror I continued to push him, thinking that he should want more for himself. I tried to get him to curb his temper and expand his emotional range and knowledge. But it never worked. That just wasn't Ron. He was quite happy with being the stubborn, Quidditch loving person that he was.

It wasn't until a few years after you were born, and just before I got sick, that I realised that your dad and I wanted different things out of life. That he wasn't going to magically change into the person that I was trying to change him into; someone that wanted to travel the world, learn about other cultures, and challenge me. I want you to know that sometimes this happens, sometimes we fall in love with the idea of a person rather than the person themselves. I still love your dad, I'm just not _in_ love with him anymore. Having said that, I do believe that there is someone out there for us. Someone who is the exact person that we need. Someone who will love us, treat us right, and challenge us. I want you to know, that even in the short time that I had left, I think I found him.

Remember that the things that make you beautiful are not always the things that people can see right away; your passion, your intelligence, and your heart. But these are the very things that matter most and that will lead you to the right person at the right time. It will happen, I promise.

Love always,

_Mom_


	10. Chapter Nine

**As for those that have been wondering about how Rose is taking getting letters from Hermione, I am currently working on a follow up piece that will be show this and give some extra backstory :)**

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**Chapter Nine**

Dear Rose,

On my fourteenth birthday my mother gave me this locket. It was given to her at the age of fourteen by my grandmother – who was the original owner. When my mother had given it to me it held of picture of her and my father on one side and a picture of my grandmother and grandfather in the other. I didn't think that it was fair or right to remove one of their pictures in order to put in one of myself and your dad. Instead I charmed it. Now when you open it, it will go through a series of pictures of everyone, the original photos as well as some others.

Remember that everyone in this locket loves you and will love you no matter what. I hope that one day, if you have a daughter, you will give it to her as well.

All my love,

_Mom_

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**Once more, thank you so much for reading. If you have a moment please leave me a review with your thoughts!**

**All the best!**


	11. Chapter Ten

**Thank you so much to all of my reviewers including: Ellie, Horsegurl16, PeevsyPadfoot, Katelynmauntel, thatperfectsomeone, and guests. All of your reviews and support are very appreciated. **

**For those of you that are wondering about Hermione's perspective of her relationship with Ron, I do get into the breakdown of their relationship, but not for a while. I chose to keep a the letters focused on Rose and what Hermione wanted to teach her. I promise, there is no animosity between the two. I will also reveal how Hermione's dies, but again not for a while.**

**Hope you enjoy the next two chapters!**

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**Chapter Ten**

Dear Rose,

While I write you this letter, you are almost four years old. I can't believe how quickly you are growing and learning. How all of a sudden you no longer need to hide behind my leg when people come to the door. How you can pour your own cereal and milk. How you don't need me to read to you anymore, because you can read your storybooks on your own. Now at night time you read to me. My bad days are getting more frequent. But I want you to know that I will hold on with everything I have so that I can be there for you and Hugo as long as I possibly can. I wish so much that I could be here to watch the two of you grow up into the remarkable people that I know you will be.

In the span of your lifetime, you will make so many decisions. You will make easy ones, and you will make hard ones. You will make the right ones, and the wrong ones; ones that you wish you didn't have to make, and ones that you wish you could take back. But all you can do is make the one that you think is right. Do what is best for you, and carry on, because waiting around for someone else to make your decision for you never works out.

Sometimes when you stand up for something that you believe in, it is hard to remain strong. There are times when doing the right thing is also the hardest thing to do. I don't know what it's like to have to grow up without your mom, but I do know what it's like to lose her. During our final year of schooling, when the three of us were searching for a way to kill Voldemort, I erased my parent's memories. To them, they never had a daughter. I left home that day to go on the hunt with your dad and Uncle Harry, without a mom and a dad, and without any idea if I would ever be able to get them back; if I would even live long enough to try. You really learn what is important to you when it's taken away.

Erasing my parents' memories was the hardest decision that I had to make. It was so hard to know that they had no recollection of me. But I knew that I had to keep them safe. Being so close to your Uncle Harry, and being a muggle-born witch put me at a high risk of being hunted and captured. There was a good chance that Voldemort and his followers would go after my parents, and I knew they would never be able to defend themselves if that time came. I took the only option that I had left. I erased their memories, replaced them with false ones and sent them into hiding in Australia. I knew that there was a chance that I would never see them again, or that I wouldn't be able to give them back their memories. But I had to try. Parents who don't remember you would be better than no parents at all.

I spent close to a year being an orphan, traveling from place to place that I had gone with my parents as a child and was going back to as a near-adult without them. I was so scared that I would never be able to see them again. That I would never be able to bring them back, and try to explain why I had to do what I did. I prayed that I would be able to one day be on the receiving end of their anger when I told them what I did, and not care because I would just be happy to have them back. Maybe having to wipe my parent's memories is part of the reason that I'm writing you these letters; I know what it is like to be forgotten, and it is a terrible feeling that I never want to experience again.

Sometimes, it can take a person a long time to do the right thing. Sometimes, doing the wrong things is easier or it's what you are expected to do. Draco, the boy that I told you about before, was someone who didn't always make the right choices, but he always did the right thing, eventually. Draco shined during the final battle at Hogwarts and switched over to the side of the light. I had expected that something like this was going to happen after the night at the mansion. His heart wasn't in it anymore, and I don't think that it truly ever was. I think that was the night that Draco had a clear look at the future that was set for him if he stayed on the path that his Father had given him. Draco could very well have given up our identities after we were captured and brought to the Manor. It would have been easy, and he likely would have been thought well up on by Voldemort and his followers for doing so. But he didn't. He lied and said that he didn't know, and in doing so risked his own life if anyone were to find out that he was lying.

I hope that you are as strong as I think you will be. I hope that no one's put downs or mean comments make you think that you are less than you are. I hope that you stand up for what you think is right, and go against what you know is wrong. I hope that you are strong enough to keep your own happiness as one of your priorities. I hope that you are stronger than I was.

Love always,

_Mom_

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**If you enjoyed this please let me know and be sure to check out the next chapter!**


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Chapter Eleven**

Dear Rose,

When I was your age, The Ministry was trying to take over Hogwarts. We had this bint of a teacher for Defence Against the Dark Arts who refused to actually teach us or allow the use of magic for practical lessons. Even back then, we know that a war was coming, that there were going to be wizards out there who would not hesitate to harm us. We had to be able to defend ourselves. Thus, Dumbledore's Army was born.

I created this group for anyone that wanted to learn how to truly defend themselves, and elected Uncle Harry to teach us. It was completely against the Ministry's new _rules_, so we needed a secret way to notify the members of when the next meeting would be. The idea came to me after I was contemplating the Dark Mark. The Dark Mark is a branding that Voldemort used to control and call his followers. However, I elected to create a coin for each member instead of branding their arm.

The coin that I am giving you is the very first one that I created, it is also my own. I hope this reminds you that standing up for yourself isn't always easy; but, it is always right.

Love Always,

_Mom_

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**_Thank you for taking the time to read this little story of mine. please take a moment and leave me a review with your thoughts and feedback. Thanks!_**

**_Also, As Mother's Day is this weekend (at least for me), I can only hope that this story does justice and speaks to the strength and love that so many strong parents have (such as my own mother). My heart goes out to anyone who have lost a parent, I hope that you all have someone special in your lives that you can look to for guidance in your lives. Don't forget to tell them how much you love and appreciate them. And Happy Mother's Day to all the Mom's, motherly figures, and strong role models out there._**


	13. Chapter Twelve

**I was so overwhelmed with every one's responses to the last chapters. Thank you all very Much! Shout outs go to reviewers: horsegurl16, greypotterfiction, lemniscate35173, leilanecris, ccrystal R. black, Akuma no amy, and guests. **

**Now, to respond to a few questions:**

**No, the story is not over yet. However, the number of chapters that are left is dwindling. There will be 16 chapters in total. (But not to worry, there is another another part of this story line that will be posted... at some point anyways.)**

**I will put the year that Rose is in for each letter. Sorry if that was confusing! Aside from the first letter, she gets one letter per year at Hogwarts. Hope that helps!**

**Thank you so much for everyone's support!**

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**Chapter Twelve - Year 6**

Dear Rose,

By the time you read this, you will be sixteen years old; almost a full adult ready to go into the world. I'm sure you are getting to the point where you want to be done with Hogwarts. Done with all the tests, and the papers, and rules. But I promise you that when it is time for you to go, you won't want to leave it all behind. So I want you to enjoy it while you can.

Unfortunately Rose, I am running out of time to tell you all of the important things that I think you should know but that you can't learn in a classroom. I want you to understand is that people are not always who they seem. I had the privilege to be taught by a great man, who had everyone fooled. To all of his students, he was a slimy, and snarky teacher. We hated his class and felt that he was personally out to make any student who wasn't a part of the Slytherin house hate him. I suspect that you would have heard of him if not from Harry, then from stories while at Hogwarts. His name was Professor Severus Snape.

For many years, Harry, Ron, and I were convinced that he was working for Voldemort. We often thought that Dumbledore was a fool for trusting him as much as he did. It was only after he died that we learned the truth. And though I'm sure that you have heard some version of the story, I think you should ask Harry to tell you the real version. I'm not sure if he has already, but even so, I think it's a good story to be reminded of. How doing the right thing doesn't always feel right, or look right to other people. That we just have to remember to keep the reason behind what we're doing in the front of our mind, always. And if we try hard enough, we can succeed. We just have to hope that we are lucky enough to see that day.

There are two sides to every coin, and just as there are people who seem bad but are actually good, there is the reverse. In my earlier years at Hogwarts, I saw Dumbledore as this God-like man. Someone who was above the average witch or wizard. You always felt safe when he was around, like no harm could actually come near you. Again, it was only after his death that we learned more about our old Headmaster, and at this time in my life, I still don't know who he really was. There are just so many different sides to a person that it is often hard to know if you are seeing their true self, or just the self that they want you to see.

I would never deny that Dumbledore was a great wizard, who did everything that he could for the better of our world, but I believe that he was also a man who forgot that what he was sacrificing was not his to give up. We lost a lot of things as we grew up, and not all of them were by our own choice. Not all of them we could understand until now.

After Dumbledore died we met his brother Aberforth, who told us of the person that Dumbledore used to be. After losing his father, Dumbledore attended Hogwarts where he excelled in all areas of his schooling. Soon after he graduated, his Mother was killed by an accidental outburst of magic from his sister, Ariana. It was from this turn of events that he became friends with another well-known wizard: Gellert Grindelwald. According to Aberforth, they had discussed the idea of blood purity to great end, and that the only reason they were not able to put their ideas into practice was because Aberforth stood up to his brother and made him end the relationship.

This is the turning point in Dumbledore's past where many people think that he changed for the better. That he became the great and kind wizard that he was after the death of his sister. But there are some days that I do not think that this is true. As I said before, Dumbledore was a great wizard, one of the strongest in wizarding history, and we were very fortunate that most of his life was spent fighting against the dark side of magic. But I also remember him as the wizard who kept Harry, and the rest of us¸ in the dark about your uncle's destiny; how he was nurturing Harry into becoming a weapon, rather than an adult. There are days that I wonder whether Dumbledore kept Uncle Harry safe because he genuinely cared for him, or if it was because he needed him to stay alive until it was time for him to die and take Voldemort with him.

I hope these stories remind you that there are many sides of a person. Not all of them are nice, and not all of them are bad. People can change, but even if they do, it doesn't mean that their past mistakes get erased. You carry those with you no matter who you are. The only advice that I can give to you Rose, is to be the very best person that you can be. Make the decisions that you think are right, and know that it will all work out how it is meant to in the end. Know that you will always be loved by your family, and your friends, and by me.

Love always,

_Mom_

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**Click next chapter to see what gift Rose got and the review button at the bottom to leave me a note!**


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**Chapter Thirteen**

Dear Rose,

Here is a little reminder that things are not always what they seem. I cast an undetectable extension charm on this bag so that I could bring everything that I thought we would need while your Dad, Uncle, and I were on the search for a way to kill Voldemort. You should have seen the look on their faces when I first told them that I had packed everything into this tiny bag. They surely thought that I was insane.

This bag was a huge part of how we were able to be as successful in our task as we were. I filled it with everything from clothes to food, tents, books, and potions. We would have been lost without it.

And now it is yours, because you never know what you are going to need or when you are going to need it.

I love you always,

_Mom_

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**Thank you so much for reading. Please take a moment and send me a review to let me know your thoughts so far! Only 3 Chapters left!**


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**I just wanted to take a moment to thank all my readers and reviewers. Shout outs of gratitude to: TrueColorsNeverFde, Leilanecris, Natilla99, horsegurl16. All of your reviews always put a huge smile on my face!**

**Some reviewers have been upset that this is a slightly AU fic. I thought that was fairly obvious seeing as in this story Hermione dies a few years before the Epilogue takes place. However, I will list the story as AU in the description for any future readers. **

**Onto the story!**

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**Chapter Fourteen - Year Seven**

Dear Rose,

There are going to be times when you are scared. Being scared is okay, it's okay as long as you don't let it control you. Don't let your fear make decisions for you; don't let it change your mind. Being scared isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes it is the things that we are most scared of that are the things that we want and need the most. I don't know how to tell you the good scared feelings from the bad ones. The only advice that I can give is to follow your heart, but keep your brain in mind as well.

I want to tell you a story about a boy. His name is Draco Lucius Malfoy. His son, Scorpious, and you are in the same year. I wonder if the two of you are still friends…When we were young, Draco always had this arrogant air about him, and he appeared to think that everything should be handed to him because of his bloodline. Quite frankly, he was a spoiled prat, one that I, and your father and uncle, had no tolerance for. Over the years, he never seemed to grow out of it. It was only just before the war broke out that I started to see this boy that I had grown up with in a different way. Not a romantic way, but in a way that made me realize that he was in this war just as much as we were, and that the only difference between him and us, is that we had a choice in the side that we fought for. His side had been chosen for him at birth.

At the age of 16, it is incredibly hard to stand on your own, even more so when by doing so you are standing against your family. And that is why at the age of 16, Draco was branded with the dark mark; something that he always regretted. That same year Draco was given the order to kill Dumbledore. He felt so trapped that he almost completed his task. He knew that if Dumbledore wasn't killed that he and his family would be; an undertaking that should never be put on anyone. Dumbledore was killed, but not at Draco's hand. You see, Draco's mother had an unbreakable vow with Professor Snape that he would help and protect Draco. He did just that. Though Draco's mother was on the dark side, she cared for her son very much, and did anything in her power to ensure his safety.

It was only in the years after the war that I began to truly understand Draco While we were off searching for a way to kill Voldemort, Draco was learning that doing right by your family and doing what was right wasn't always the same thing. All of a sudden the world that he had known since he was an infant no longer made sense. He no longer wanted to be a part of it, and yet he felt tied there. It was his family, and you don't just abandon your family.

When our paths crossed again, just before the Final Battle after we were captured and brought to Malfoy Manor, all of the tables had been turned. We were no longer the seemingly invincible trio. There was no Dumbledore by our side, no secret weapons. We were just three wizards trying to live up to expectations that were far beyond us. A lot of terrible things happened that night, and the details of what happened aren't what I feel is important. One thing I do remember is how Draco looked. He was no longer the conceited boy that I had potions with; the man that stood before us was nervous and frightened. He was hesitant to confirm our identities, knowing what that would lead to. As I laid there after being tortured by his aunt, he looked right at me, and that is when I saw it. That is when I saw his idea of his world and what he was doing break, and fall away. All that was left was the shell of him staring in horror at what was inside of it, and what that part of it had done. It didn't matter that we were fighting for different sides. In that moment we were people that knew each other, children that had grown up with the other around and in eachother's classes for years; and now we were facing each other in a war, being told to kill.

I never told anyone this, not even your father. But that night, when I was laying there in one of my darkest moments, Draco caught my eye and whispered that he was sorry. The honest tears in his eyes, the realization on his face of just what this war really meant, and those few words that he spoke were what made me forgive him for all he had done or not stopped from happening that night.

Draco and I went on to become great friends when we were older. He was there for me when I got sick, and was a constant by my side. I will never be able to thank him enough for everything that he did for me during that time. He reminded me of who I used to be when I was around him. He quenched my thirst for something more in my life; something that I was missing. He was wonderful with you and Hugo. After I was released from St. Mungo's, we did so many things with his son and the two of you. We went to the zoo, and took a ferry along the Island. As much as I resisted it, Draco would get you and Scorpio riding around on brooms in his backyard. You and Hugo really loved spending time with the two of them, and so did I. When I was around Draco, and Scorpios, I didn't feel sick. I just felt like myself.

Now I don't want you to think that all of this happened overnight, that one day Draco changed his ways and I automatically forgave him. Our friendship was quite tentative at first, we would only see each other every few months. In the beginning all we used to do was talk. But we would talk for hours, often closing down the coffee shop or bistro that we went to. We talked about everything; about what he went through, and about why he did the things that he did. We talked about me, and how I was handling everything after the war, after everything became normal for the first time. We talked about our children, our lives, where were wanted to go, the things that we wanted to do. All of the things that your dad and I never seemed to be able to talk about.

Though your Dad would be furious to hear this, he and Draco are very similar in just as many ways as they are different. They have both been made to feel inferior; Ron by Uncle Harry and Draco by his father. They are both incredibly stubborn and set in their ways. They both love their children unconditionally. They have both made me laugh and cry. They have both been by my side at the hardest of times. They both loved me, and I loved both of them. Remember Rose, no matter how different we are from one another, as humans we all want the same things: love, acceptance, and success. I truly hope that you find all of these things within yourself.

This isn't the end Rose, there is still so much that I have to tell you. So much more that I want you to understand. I hope throughout the rest of your life, you remember that people can make mistakes. But also remember that people can learn from mistakes, and change; that we all deserve a second chance. What I'm trying to tell you is that life can by scary sometimes. It may be years until you can fully understand or appreciate some of the things that you experience. Know that I have every bit of faith that you will grow into a smart, caring, and beautiful woman. I so wish that I could be there to see you as you do. Just know that you are always in my heart and on my mind.

Love always,

_Mom_

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**Quick there is another chapter! Click the next button! (Also, please click the review button. I enjoy hearing from you all!)**


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**Chapter Fifteen - Year Seven**

Dear Rose,

This book of tales was left to me by Dumbledore in his will after he died. It was originally all in runes, but I spent a large portion of our time traveling in seventh year translating it. This was the key to understanding how to destroy Voldemort. Remember, hard work pays off in the end.

Your dad's mother used to read this book to him and his siblings every night before they went to bed. I hope he does the same for you and Hugo. I'm sure you've heard many of these stories over the years. I remember you used to beg him to read you Babbity Rabbity almost every night. I wonder if that's still your favourite one.

Love,

_Mum_

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**_Thank you so much for reading! Please take a second to send me a review with your thoughts! If you are not enjoying the story please remember to keep you comments constructive. No one likes a Negative Nancy :)_**

**_Also just a reminder that the next chapter will be the last one. I lot of missing pieces of information will be reveled so stay tuned!_**

**_ALSO! I am currently working on another story (its about half written, with most o the plot planned out) but am looking for a beta. If you, or anyone you know, are interested please feel free to PM me!_**

**_Thanks!_**


	17. Chapter Sixteen

Just wanted to start off my saying thank you for everyone who has read this and reviewed. Your comments have all meant so much to me!  
This is indeed the last chapter. There will be an authors note after this talking about the potential for a small side story to run along side with this. But more details in the note.

Enjoy!

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Chapter Sixteen

Dear Rose,

Alright my dear, you have now graduated from Hogwarts, and I'm absolutely sure that you have done the best that you could. Now, it's time for you to go out into the great wide world and find out why you are here, and what you were meant to do. I know it's scary; moving on is always scary. Because although you may not feel completely fulfilled where you are now, you know that it's safe. You know what to expect, and how your life will turn out if you stay here. Then you have the abyss, the door that you were never able to open before suddenly ajar. Only no one has turned the light on. You can't tell if it will be worse or better than staying.

That my dear Rose, is where I found myself. At the age of 26 after a quick engagement with your father and having you and your wonderful brother Hugo, I was stuck. I had never planned on being married or having children at the age that I did. But after the war we all had this sense of euphoria and adrenaline that seemed to last for years, just because we were happy to be _alive_. Everyone was getting married and having children. I remember for the first few years after the war there was a wedding, engagement party, or baby shower almost every other week. It felt that we were going to a party that never actually stopped, only changed locations.

As the years went on, this feeling began to drain out of us. We all started to go back to our lives, wanting to pick up where we left off when the war started, only realizing that we couldn't. We had families to think about, it was no longer just our lives that we were making plans for. I can specifically remember waking up on a cool fall morning in October, looking over at your Dad who was still fast asleep and thinking to myself: _How did this happen? How did I end up here?_ I remember laying there in the early hours in the morning trying to recall every step that I had taken that had gotten me here. I remembered them all, but they all seemed too rash and ill planned; nothing like what I would expect from myself.

It was that morning that I realized that this was not what I wanted for myself. Now, before you read too much into this, let me be very clear. I have never and will never for one _second_ regret having you and Hugo. You two are the loves of my life, and always will be. You and your brother were some of the few things that got me through my darkest days. But I'll get to that later. For now, please know that I love you both more than you could possibly understand right now, and I would never change my past if there was even the smallest of chances that either of you would not be in my future.

So I guess you're wondering what came next. You were so young that I'm sure you don't remember much of how your Dad and I interacted with one another. We always tried to keep it light and happy around you and your brother, especially after we got the news. Here comes the hard part, the part that I have been both looking forward to writing and dreading at the same time. I think you are finally old enough that you can understand what I'm telling you. Just remember that the truth has two sides: a beautiful one, and an ugly one. This is the story of both.

Whenever I found myself wanting to get away from the world that was going on around me, I would go and read a new book. A nice thick one with interesting characters and a twisting plot line that would keep me invested in the story. Your father and I had been fighting at the time. He couldn't understand my sudden change in mood. I was frequently tired or lethargic. I wasn't happy in our relationship, and he couldn't understand why. It didn't matter how many times I told him, he just couldn't wrap his head around the idea that I hadn't realized what I was doing. That I thought that we had rushed into our marriage and having kids, and that the last thing I remember before us was a war, and before that was school. I never had a chance to just be myself, and live my own life. He took my wanting a break in order to do those things personally and felt that I no longer wanted him or you two in my life. But that wasn't what I wanted, not at all.

I've had so much time to think over the past few years and I'm trying to sort through all the chapters in my life before I run out of time. I'm trying to find answers for you, Rose. Because as much as I wish that I could be there to answer all of your questions as you grow up, I can't. That is why I am telling you all of this, this is why I'm not leaving anything out. You are an adult now, and there is no reason to keep this from you.

One of the days that I went to the bookstore, I ran into that boy I told you about in my previous letter: Draco Malfoy. It had been a few years since we had seen each other; after the war he and his family stood trial for the crimes that they had committed during the war. In the end, Draco and his mother were let off with minimal sentencing because they turned over to the side of the light during the final battle. If it wasn't for Draco's mother lying to Voldemort, Harry would not have survived, and he likely would have won the war. Harry stood up on behalf of them both during trial. Your uncle is a good man, he had suffered so much loss, but he still looked for the good in everyone. I had seen Draco at a few of the end of war celebrations, but he typically kept a low profile. Many people were not so quick to forgive and trust him after all those years. After the war he was left with no one really. Most of his friends and family had been either killed or sentenced to Azkaban. Most of the people on the side of the light didn't trust him or want anything to do with him. They still saw him as the son of a Death Eater who was following in the footsteps that his father had laid out for him. The only person that he seemed to have left was his mother.

After making small talk in the Potions section of the bookstore, he offered to buy me a tea while we continued our conversation. We had talked on a few occasions before, often at the post-war celebrations when no one else would talk to him I made sure that I made an effort to say hello. It never felt right that these wizards on the "good" side refused to recognize when another wizard sacrificed his life in order to help us, simply because he wasn't on our "side". We hadn't grown exceedingly close during these irregular occasions, but we did develop a casual friendship through it. One that I will always be grateful for. It was half way through our second cups of tea when I began to feel ill. I began to feel faint, when I noticed that my nose had begun to bleed on the fresh white linen on the table. It was only a moment later that I lost consciousness. When I awoke I was in St. Mungo's. Draco was still there, along with you Dad who had chosen to keep his distance from his old blonde school mate. It was on this day that I was told that I had cancer.

I had never heard of a wizard getting cancer before, and that was because it was quite rare. Wizards have a couple of key genes that are different from the genes of a muggle. It's these genes that allow us to have magic, and what allows wizards and witches to live so much longer than our non-magical counterparts. Wizard genes regenerate at an alarming rate, far faster than those of a muggle. This is why it is so hard to determine the age of a wizard, their cells regenerate so quickly that it takes longer for genes to break down and so, it takes longer for the collagen and elastin to slow its production (which causes wrinkles), or the breakdown of bones and muscle tissue. When a non-magical person has a cancer cell it's very difficult for them to get rid of it because it multiplies itself at an alarming rate, faster than any other cell in the body, and faster than they can sometimes treat. Wizards don't have this problem, because they can regenerate healthy cells faster than the cancer can spread, thus taking over the infected cell and killing it.

But as I'm sure you remember, Rose, your mom is only a half wizard. I came from two muggle parents, who each had a set of their own muggle parents. I came from a world where sickness cannot be cure with a spell or a potion; sometimes it cannot be cured at all. The healers at St. Mungo's were at a loss. They didn't have a case like mine in any of their records as happening before. They tried everything they could, but the fact was, they had never dealt with such a vicious disease as this before. They brought on a small team of muggle physicians to work on my case. We tried the muggle methods of healing, but none of the treatments took. After nine months of intense treatment with no progress, they sent me home. They couldn't give me a timeframe of how long I had left. Only that it would likely be longer than the muggle prognosis because my magic would help me stay a little stronger, and alive a little longer.

I came home a few weeks before your third birthday. You wanted a princess party. I remember how you ran around the house in your gown all day. You were always so full of energy. I was getting tired from just watching you. I remember you trying to cheer me up when I almost broke out in tears just before all of the guests arrived. The crown that your Dad had gotten me to match yours kept slipping because I didn't have any hair for it to stick into. You kissed my smooth head and said that you had enough hair for the both of us to share. Always so kind, you always knew how to make me smile.

Rose, I want you to understand that you and Hugo kept me so happy, even when I was sick. Even during my really bad days. My first priority was always the two of you. I knew that I my time with you would be limited, and so I was going to make the very best of it. I wanted you to remember me as a happy person, not someone who was always unhappy and arguing with your dad. That wasn't the role model that I wanted to be for the two of you while you were at such an impressionable age. But me being sick didn't change my feelings towards your Dad, nor did that change what I planned to do. That was to leave your dad. I had enough money stored away to support me for the rest of my time, and we would split our time with the two of you. It didn't make your dad happy at the time, but it's what I had to do.

Your dad and I still talked and saw each other often. I still thought of him as my best friend, and I hope he still thought of me as his. He wanted to keep up to date with my illness, and be able to take you kids if I was too exhausted to keep up. We never stopped caring for one another, it just wasn't enough to keep us together anymore.

One of the hardest things about relationships is knowing when you have to let go. Sometimes you will be in a good relationship, with someone who treats you right and you'll both want to be with each other, but maybe you both want different things for your lives. Do you compromise? Do you give up on what you want, or do you give up on them? Perhaps you make them bend to your will and hope that they don't resent you for it later. But you can't, and even if you do is that what's really going to make you happy? I can't tell you which one is the right answer, I'm still trying to figure that one out for myself. What your dad wants and what I want are two completely different things. Now, after all these years, I find myself struggling with being the smart, bossy, and fearless young girl that I was, rather than this unhappy, compromising woman that I find myself becoming. I don't remember losing myself. I want you to understand, that this is not your dad's fault, and that it's not mine either. Sometimes people just change, or need change.

I think that if your love for someone is truly genuine, that you will do anything you possibly can to keep them in your life. When I told your Dad that I needed some time apart to figure out what I wanted and who I was, he was heartbroken, it hurt so much that I was the cause of that. He put up a fight for a few weeks, but after about a month of me trying to explain to him what I was feeling, and why I was doing this, he gave up. So thinking back to our relationship, perhaps he didn't feel that way about me. I know that he loves me, but maybe it's just not enough. And maybe I never loved him enough either. Maybe we were just two kids that got caught up in a war.

I think it's important for you to know how happy Draco made me. When I got sick, the strength of our friendship grew. He visited me constantly at the hospital. Something that I know your Dad wasn't pleased with in the beginning, but I know appreciated as the days in the hospital turned into months. We still had the two of you to care for, and he eventually began to trust Draco enough to go home to spend time with you and Hugo.

Being around Draco felt like a kind of medicine. The taste was strong and bitter in the beginning; you almost didn't want to take it. But after a while you could feel it making you better, stronger. Soon you welcomed the flavour. The more time that I spent in Draco's company the more I could feel myself returning to the person that I used to be. The person that I had been searching for. He brought out my witty remarks to banter against his snarky comments. We talked about the future, and ignored the past and everything in it. It was like we were starting over, once again eleven year olds on a train to school. After the third month of treatment, after my hair had fallen out, he promised to take me to Italy if I promised to make it out of that hospital bed. He kept his promise, and I kept mine.

I wish, that I could have had more time. More time to spend with those that I rekindled with later on in my life; after I got sick; Time could have made all the difference to how my life turned out in the end. Perhaps I could have been happier, perhaps I could have found love. More time to spend with you and Hugo, to make sure that you both know how much I love you. More time with your father, so that I could try and make him understand that none of what happened was because of him. It was all because of me, and what I had to do. I hope that he has found someone who can love him as much as he deserves. I wish that I could have had more time to get to know Draco, because I think I could have loved him. I think we would have been really happy together. And I know that he would have loved you and Hugo like you were his own.

Remember Rose, those are the important things in life; happiness and love.

I want you to know that if you ever need someone to talk to. Someone who isn't Dad, or Uncle Harry, or someone else who isn't related to you, Draco is a wonderful listener. I want you to know that you can trust him, because I trust him. I've trusted him all these years to make sure you got these letters. Yes, it was him. He gave me his word that no matter what, he would ensure that you would receive one of these letters at the beginning of each new school year. If you're reading this that means that he kept his promise, as I suspected he would. I just have one last thing of you to ask. I would like you to thank him for me.

It's only goodbye for now, Rose.

I love you, always.

_Mom_


	18. Authors Note

To all of my readers who have lost a mother, or a father, or someone else that they looked up to: I am so very sorry for your loss. I know that nothing can replace that special person in your life, but I hope that you have found some closure or reassurance in this story. I have lived a very fortunate life so far and lost very few of my loved ones and cannot begin to imagine what that must feel like. I hope you know how very strong all of you are for continuing to get up every day and fighting to do the best you can and be as happy as you can.. Know that those who you have lost are so very proud of you and love and miss you just as much as you love and miss them.

Thank you to all of the readers and reviewers who have come on this journey with me; Who have shed tears as they read this story, as I have shed tears writing it. This story has renewed my love and passion for writing and strengthens my courage to share. This is the first story that I have been able to complete, and I look forward to moving on to another.

In the (hopefully) near future, a piece will be posted in conjunction with this story, where you will be able to see some of roses reactions, where Draco and Ron are now, and a bit of what transpired in the past. I hope you all will keep an eye out for it.

I am also working on another story, but am currently working on getting a Beta for it. If you are interested, please send me a PM

Once again, thank you all.

-A


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